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Estate Planning

4 Tips for Talking About Estate Planning at Your Family Reunion

July is National Family Reunion Month and the perfect time to reconnect with family from near and far, share life’s updates, and reminisce about the wonderful memories you share together. If you’re getting together with family this month, it’s also a perfect time to talk to your loved ones about your shared goals, family resources and the legacy you want to leave behind for the next generation. 

You might think that estate planning is too somber a topic for a happy family reunion, but it can actually be an opportunity to bring you closer to your loved ones by giving everyone time to speak openly about their wishes for the family and can help everyone feel unified by working together toward the family’s future wellbeing.

Not sure how to bring up estate planning in a way that makes your family feel empowered? Keep reading to learn how to navigate the conversation without scaring away party guests!

1. Invite Your Loved Ones to the Conversation In Advance

Instead of bringing up the topic on the spot at your reunion, reach out to your relatives in advance and let them know that you’d like to set aside some time during the reunion to talk about your family’s legacy and how you can work together to take care of each other in the future. 

Everyone likes to feel they’re being looked after and that their input in family matters is wanted and valued. Any ongoing concerns with your family, such as an aging relative’s declining memory or your upcoming knee surgery, are great lead-ins to bring up the topic in a way that feels natural.

If anyone is resistant to the idea of talking about estate planning, don’t push them. Instead, keep your energy warm and empathetic, and keep the invitation to the discussion open in case they change their mind.

2. Be Vulnerable and Explain Why Estate Planning Is Important to You

Assure everyone that the goal of the conversation is to make sure the family’s future security and well-being are taken care of no matter what happens – not to try and pry into anyone’s finances, health, or relationships. Instead, it’s about ensuring everyone’s wishes are clearly understood and respected, and not about finding out how much money someone stands to inherit.

Be sure to tell your family that talking about these issues now is also a good way to avoid future conflict and expense. When family members don’t clearly understand the reasoning behind one another’s planning choices, it’s likely to breed conflict, resentment, and even costly legal battles in the future. 

Instead, tell your loved ones that you’d like to start the conversation about estate planning early and continue it as an open dialogue with the whole family for years to come. Positioning the conversation as one about planning for the future health and well-being of your family rather than as a conversation about dividing assets at someone’s death will help your relatives will feel more at ease, and some may even be eager to be involved in the conversation.

If you have not yet handled your own planning, now would be a great time to start so you can have the conversation with your loved one’s by sharing about your personal experience and how handling your own estate planning has helped you to think more deeply about what matters to you, how you want to live out the rest of your life, and how you’d love to share this experience with your whole family.

3. Set a Time and Place for the Conversation

Rather than trying to find the right moment to bring up the topic, set a time and a place with your family in advance of the get-together. Be sure to schedule a specific time, but don’t feel like the meeting invite needs to sound too serious or foreboding. Asking if everyone can meet around the fire pit at 6:00 pm or meet at your house for coffee at 9:00 am is perfect.  

I also recommend giving everyone an end time for the discussion as well. By doing this, your loved ones will know what to expect and won’t feel worried that the conversation will eat up too much of their time.

Setting boundaries for the conversation will also help motivate members of your family to participate and stay on topic.

To make things even easier, come to the meeting with a list of the most important points you’d like to cover and encourage your family members to do the same. But, keep the list short so you don’t go over the time you’ve set aside for the discussion.

If there are too many things to cover in the time allotted, that’s okay. Talk about the most important topics and agree as a family to get together again on a specific date either in person, on the phone, or via video chat to continue the discussion and flesh out any details that were left for later.

4. Focus on Your Family’s Legacy

While talking to your loved ones about estate planning, remember to talk about your family’s legacy and your desire to pass on your cumulative stories, memories, values, and lessons to the younger generation and beyond. A family reunion is a wonderful way to come together, and estate planning can be an amazing tool for memorializing your family’s most important assets- your human assets.

You and your loved ones have generations of stories, traditions, and triumphs worth protecting and celebrating. Let your family know that estate planning isn’t just about planning for death – it’s also about planning ahead so you can enjoy your life to the fullest knowing that everything and everyone you love will be taken care of if you become ill or when you die. 

For my clients, it’s also a unique opportunity to capture your family’s most valued memories and stories. I help my clients record the things that mean the most to them and the things they want to pass on that are far more valuable than money.

What would be more precious than being able to share and watch this recording of our loved ones at future family reunions for generations to come? 

How We Can Help

If you would like more advice on how to talk to your family about estate planning or are interested in beginning your own estate planning journey so you can ensure your family is taken care of and share your personal planning experience with your family, give me a call. 

It’s my passion to guide you through every stage of planning your life and legacy, and when there’s an opportunity for an entire family to come together on their estate planning goals, love and happiness are bound to follow.

Contact us today to get started.

This article is a service of August Law, a Personal Family Lawyer® Firm. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a LIfe & Legacy Planning Session, during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. 

The content is sourced from Personal Family Lawyer® for use by Personal Family Lawyer® firms, a source believed to be providing accurate information. This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you are seeking legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.

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Estate Planning

All You Need To Know About Living Wills

When it comes to estate planning, you’ve most likely heard people mention a couple of different types of wills. The most common is a “last will and testament,” which is also known simply as a “will.” But you may have also heard people talk about what’s called a “living will.”

Both terms describe important legal documents used in estate planning, but their purpose and the way in which they work is very different. Here we are going to discuss some of the most critical things you should know about living wills, and explain why having one is an essential part of every adult’s estate plan and how to get yours created or updated.

A living will, often called an “advance health care directive,” is a legal document that tells your loved ones and doctors how you would want decisions related to your medical care handled in the event you become incapacitated and are unable to make such decisions yourself, particularly at the end of life. Specifically, a living will outline the procedures, medications, and treatments you would want—or would not want—to prolong your life if you become unable to discuss such matters with doctors yourself.

Living Will Vs Last Will & Testament

A last will and testament is used to ensure your assets are divided upon your death in the way you choose. Note that your will only deals with your assets, and it only operates upon your death. In contrast, a living will is about you, not your assets, and operates in the event of your incapacity, not your death.

In other words, a last will tells others what you want to happen to your wealth and property after you die, while a living will tells others how you want your medical treatment managed while you are still alive.

What Is An Advance Directive And How Is It The Same Or Different Than A Living Will?

An “advanced directive” or “advance health care directive” are both general terms that describe legal documents that are related to your health care needs. Typically, an advance health care directive will include a living will (with instructions for how you want your medical care handled), and a medical power of attorney (naming the people you want making decisions for you, and giving them authority to talk with your medical team).

Living Will Vs Medical Power Of Attorney

A medical power of attorney is the part of an advance health care directive that allows you to name a person, known as your “agent,” to make health care decisions for you if you’re incapacitated and unable to make those decisions yourself. While medical power of attorney is an advance directive that names who can make health care decisions in the event of your incapacity, a living will explains how your medical care should be handled. Not all living will form documents or templates include a medical power of attorney or the proper legal authorizations to give whoever you want making decisions for you (your agent) the legal authority to access your medical records.

Why Is A Living Will So Important?

A living will is a vital part of every adult’s estate plan, as it can ensure your medical treatment is handled exactly the way you want in the event you become unable to communicate your needs and wishes yourself. Additionally, a living will can prevent your family from undergoing needless stress and conflict during an already trying time.

Without a living will, your family will have to guess what treatments you might want, and your loved ones are likely to experience stress and guilt over the decisions they make on your behalf. In the worst cases, your family members could even end up battling one another in court over how your medical care should be managed.

Even Young People Need A Living Will

Although you may think that a living will is something that only the elderly or older people need, the fact is, you can experience a serious accident or illness at any age, which would leave you incapacitated and unable to communicate your wishes for medical care. For this reason, all adults over age 18 should have both a living will and a medical power of attorney in place.

Decisions And Scenarios Addressed In A Living Will

A few of the most common types of decisions, treatments, and scenarios typically addressed in a living will include the following:

  • Tube Feeding. You can include instructions about if and for how long you would want tube feeding used to supply you with nutrients and fluids needed to prolong your life.
  • Resuscitation (CPR & DNR). Depending on whether or not you would want to be resuscitated in the event your heart stops, you can include what’s known as a Do-Not-Resuscitate (DNR) order in your living will. A DNR can also be a stand-alone document.
  • Intubation & Mechanical Ventilation. You can state if and for how long you would want to be intubated and placed on a mechanical ventilator if you could not breathe on your own.
  • Pain Management & Palliative Care. These are instructions about the types of pain management medications you would—or would not—want to be prescribed to you; if you want to die at home; as well as any other interventions you might want for comfort and pain management at the end of life.
  • Organ/Tissue Donation. You can specify in your living will if you want to donate your organs and/or tissues for transplant following your death. Note that you will likely receive life-sustaining measures until any procedures are completed to remove your organs and tissues.

Should You Try An Online Living Will?

While you’ll find a wide selection of generic living wills, medical power of attorney, and other advance directive documents online, you may not want to trust these do-it-yourself solutions to adequately address such critical decisions. When it comes to your medical treatment and end-of-life care, you have unique needs and wishes that just can’t be anticipated by fill-in-the-blank documents.

To ensure your directives are specifically tailored to suit your unique situation and that you actually get it done instead of just knowing you need to get it handled and never do it, work with experienced planning professionals like us to create—or at the very least, review—your living will, medical power of attorney, and other documents.

Communication Is Vital

Even if you have a well-thought-out living will, it won’t be worth the paper it’s printed on if nobody knows about it. Both living wills and medical power of attorney go into effect the second you sign them, so you should immediately deliver copies to your agent, your alternate agents, your primary care physician, and any other medical specialists you’re seeing.

And don’t forget to give those folks new versions whenever you update the documents and have them shred the old documents. This is a standard part of our practice when serving our clients, so when you work with us to create your legal documents, we’ll ensure that everyone who needs to have your documents always has the latest version.

Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late

Your living will and medical power of attorney must be created well before you become incapacitated and unable to make your own decisions. You must be able to clearly express your wishes and consent in order for these planning documents to be valid, as even slight levels of dementia or confusion could get them thrown out of court.

Not to mention, an unforeseen illness or injury could strike at any time, at any age, so don’t wait—contact us to get these vital documents put in place.

A Comprehensive Plan For Incapacity

A living will and medical power of attorney are just two of the legal documents you need as part of your overall plan for incapacity. You will also likely need other estate planning tools, such as a durable financial power of attorney and a revocable living trust, in order to have a truly comprehensive incapacity plan. We see estate planning as so much more than planning for death, which is why we call it Life & Legacy Planning—because it’s about your life and the legacy you are creating by the choices you make today.

If you’ve yet to create your incapacity plan, schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation. We can advise you about the proper planning vehicles to put in place. And if you already have an incapacity plan—even one created by another lawyer—we can review it to make sure it’s been properly set up, maintained, and updated.

This article is a service of August Law, Personal Family Lawyer®. We do not just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session™, during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love.
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Estate Planning

Long-Term Care Insurance: What You Need to Know

With the booming aging population, more and more seniors will require long-term healthcare services, whether at home, in an assisted living facility, or in a nursing home. However, such long-term care can be extremely expensive, especially when it’s needed for extended periods.

Moreover, many people mistakenly believe that their health insurance or the government will pay for their long-term care needs. But the fact is, traditional health insurance doesn’t cover long-term care. And though Medicare does pay for some long-term care, it’s typically limited (covering a maximum of 100 days), difficult to qualify for, and requires you to deplete nearly all of your assets before being eligible (unless you use proactive planning to shield your assets).

To address this gap in healthcare coverage, long-term care insurance was created. Since such insurance is fairly new, we’ll answer some of the most frequently asked questions about these policies to help you determine whether you (or your loved ones) could benefit from investing in long-term care insurance coverage as part of your estate plan.

What is long-term care?

Long-term care is a general term that describes the type of care or support you need when you are no longer able to handle activities of daily living (ADLs) on your own. ADLs include things, such as getting dressed, bathing, eating, and using the bathroom.

In some cases, long-term care might simply mean that you have someone assist you in your own home with getting ready in the morning and before bed at night. In other cases, long-term care might mean you move into a nursing home to recover from surgery or manage a chronic medical condition.

What are the different types of long-term care?

Long-term care services typically fall into two categories: personal care and skilled care. Personal care, also known as custodial care, is for people who require assistance with non-medical activities, including the following:

ADLs such as dressing, grooming, bathing, and eating.

  • Instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs), such as grocery shopping, meal prep, and laundry
  • Companionship
  • Supervision
  • Transportation

Skilled care, or skilled nursing care, is for people who require skilled medical care or rehabilitation services, including:

  • Medication management
  • Vital sign monitoring
  • IV treatments or feedings
  • Occupational, physical, and speech therapy
  • Wound care
  • Mobility assistance

What is long-term care insurance?

First introduced as “nursing home insurance” in the 1980s, long-term care insurance is designed to cover the expenses related to your long-term care in the event you are no longer able to handle your own ADLs.

These policies cover the cost of both personal care and skilled care services whenever and wherever you plan to receive care, whether in your own home, an assisted living facility, a nursing home, or a community care facility. Some policies even cover modifications to make your home more accessible, such as adding wheelchair ramps or grab bars to your bathroom.

How does long-term care insurance work?

Before your coverage kicks in, most policies require that you demonstrate you have lost the ability to engage in at least two or three ADLs. Most policies also have a deductible, or “elimination period,” which is a set number of days that must elapse between the time you become disabled (eligible for benefits) and the time your coverage kicks in.

Many policies offer a 90-day elimination period, but others can be longer, shorter, or even have no elimination period at all. Of course, the shorter the elimination period, the more expensive the premium. Additionally, long-term care policies typically come with a predetermined benefit period, which is the number of years of care it will pay for.

For example, a benefit period of three to five years is a quite common duration for such policies. Most policies also come with a cap on the dollar amount of coverage that will be paid for care on a daily basis, known as a Daily Benefit Amount.

When should you purchase long-term care insurance?

Obviously, the younger and healthier you are when you buy the policy, the cheaper the premiums will be, so the sooner you invest in coverage, the better. In fact, most policies exclude certain pre-existing conditions, so if you wait until you become ill, it can be impossible to find coverage.

For example, if you have any of the following conditions, it generally disqualifies you from obtaining coverage:

  • You already need help with ADLs
  • You have AIDS or AIDS-Related Complex (ARC)
  • You have Alzheimer’s Disease or any form of dementia or cognitive dysfunction
  • You have a neurological disease, such as multiple sclerosis or Parkinson’s Disease
  • You had a stroke within the past year to two years or have a history of strokes
  • You have metastatic cancer
  • You have kidney failure

According to the American Association for Long-Term Care Insurance (AALTCI), the best age to apply for coverage is before you reach your mid-50s. Beyond that age, your health is unlikely to improve significantly, so waiting longer will typically increase your premiums, or you may even become ineligible before acquiring a policy.

How do I purchase coverage?

If you are looking to purchase long-term care insurance, you should speak with multiple insurance providers and compare their benefits, care options, and premiums. Different companies may offer the same coverage and benefits, but they can vary dramatically in price. Always ask about the insurance company’s history of rate increases, including the amount of the most recent increase.

For the best chances of success when shopping for a policy, get help from a fee-only planner, who is not compensated based on your choice of coverage. Or, if you are working with a commissioned agent, we can review the policy terms to ensure it’s a good fit for you before you sign on the dotted line.

What are the most important elements in a long-term care policy?

When meeting with an insurance provider, you must get answers to the following three questions about your policy:

  1. How long is the elimination period before the policy begins paying benefits?
  2. What capacities, or ADLs, must you lose before coverage kicks in?
  3. How many years of care are covered?

These are the most important elements in a long-term care policy, and as such, they will make the biggest difference in the quality of coverage and the amount of your premiums.

Can I buy coverage for my parents?

Yes, you can buy long-term care insurance for your parents. You will pay for the policy, and then have your parent(s) listed as the beneficiary. If you know you are going to be the primary caregiver for your aging parents, investing in a policy for them can help offset the expenses related to their long-term care.

Furthermore, buying long-term care insurance should always be a family affair, because you are going to need your family members to advocate for you and file a claim for the policy when you need to use it. Given this, make sure your family knows what kind of policy you have, who your agent is, and how to make a claim.

What’s more, you should pre-authorize the right person to speak to the insurance company on your behalf, and not just rely on a medical power of attorney. That said, you should definitely have a well-drafted, updated, and regularly reviewed medical power of attorney on file as well.

Once I have a policy, how often should I review my coverage?

Once you are in your 50s, your long-term care policy should be reviewed annually to evaluate new insurance products on the market and update your policy based on your changing needs. Whatever you do, once you have a policy in place, make sure you don’t miss a premium payment. If you fail to pay, even for a short period of time, you’ll lose all of the money you invested and will have no access to the benefits when you need them.

A Key Component In Your Estate Plan

Meet with us for guidance and support in finding the right long-term care insurance policy for your particular situation. In addition to life insurance, a long-term care insurance policy is a key component in your estate plan. When combined with the right estate planning strategies, you can rest assured that your loved ones will be protected and provided for no matter what happens to you.

We view estate planning as much more than just planning for death, which is why we call it Life & Legacy Planning. Ultimately, it’s all about your life and the legacy you are creating by the choices you make today. Contact us today to learn more.

This article is a service of August Law, Personal Family Lawyer®. We do not just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Life & Legacy Planning Session, during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love.
Categories
Estate Planning

Why “Just a Will” Is Never Enough

Wills have a reputation as the number one estate planning tool, in small part thanks to Hollywood’s dramatic “reading of the Will” scenes (which rarely happens in real life) to characters plotting how best to defraud their billionaire uncle’s Will in order to inherit his lavish estate.

Although Wills are a key part of your estate plan, relying on a Will alone won’t solve your estate planning needs. Instead, using just a Will to plan your final wishes is likely to leave your loved ones with an expensive mess that won’t distribute your assets in the way you intended. 

What’s more, a Will alone won’t ensure that you’re taken care of in the event of incapacity, and contrary to what you might think, relying on only a Will actually guarantees that your family will need to go to court when you die.

If you don’t want to leave your family with a mess if something happens to you, it’s important to know how a Will works and when it can be used to benefit you and your family.

What Exactly Is a Will and How Does it Work?

A Will is a written document that directs how the creator of the Will wants their possessions disposed of after their death. The creator of the Will is called the testator or testatrix. In your Will you can name someone you trust to manage the distribution of your assets, called your personal representative or executor. You can also direct what you want to have happen to your property, what charitable gifts you want to make, and who will receive them.

A Will can be a complex document or a very simple document. With that said, a Will isn’t a legally binding document unless it’s executed according to the laws of the state where you reside. In general, you need to sign your will in front of a witness, and sometimes a notary. Every state has different laws for the creation of a Will, it’s important to consult with an experienced estate planning attorney (like me) to create your Will rather than trying to write your own.

A Will Requires Probate Court

One of the biggest estate planning myths I hear from clients is the belief that by having a Will, their loved ones won’t need to go to court after they die.

This is, sadly, the opposite of the truth.

If you use only a Will as your main method of estate planning, you actually guarantee that your loved ones will go to court after you die. A Will is required by law to go through the court system called probate before any of your assets can be distributed. In fact, a will is only effective within the probate court.

Once your Will is admitted to the court after your death, your personal representative or executor will be given official authority to move your assets under the court’s supervision. This ensures your property is distributed according to your wishes and that the court can intervene if there are any disputes over who gets what.

While court oversight can be helpful if there is any confusion or disagreement about your estate, the probate process is long and expensive. Depending on your state, the process can take about 6 months for small estates, or 12 – 18 months (sometimes even longer) for most estates.

Due to the length and complexity of the process, going through probate can easily cost your family tens of thousands of dollars. Some states even require that probate cost a certain percentage of your estate’s value.

In addition, because probate is a public court proceeding, your Will becomes part of the public record upon your death, allowing everyone to see the contents of your estate, who your beneficiaries are, and what they’ll receive. Unfortunately, scammers could use this information to try to take advantage of young or vulnerable beneficiaries who just inherited money from you.

A Will Does Not Apply to All of Your Assets or All of Your Needs

A Will actually only covers certain items of your property, including any property owned solely in your name and any property that doesn’t have a beneficiary designation. It does not cover property co-owned by you with others listed as joint tenants or owned as marital property, meaning you can only give away your share of any property you own with others, not the entire property.

Any assets that have a beneficiary designation, like retirement accounts or life insurance, are not controlled by your Will at all, but will be paid out to the person listed as your beneficiary on each account. Because of this, it’s especially important to make sure your account beneficiaries are up to date, and named in a way that will not result in unintended consequences.

In addition, a Will has no power until you die, so you can’t use it to give someone you trust the power to make decisions for you if you’re incapacitated due to illness or injury. Even if you named someone in your Will to manage your estate, or watch over your children, that person will have no authority to do so while you’re alive.

Don’t Just Get a Will, Get an Estate Plan

With all the issues that using a Will for estate planning can create, you might be wondering why a Will is even used at all. The thing is, a Will isn’t the one-and-done solution that most people are led to believe.

Instead, a Will should be used as a piece of your overall estate plan, not as the entire plan itself.  And ideally, your Will shouldn’t even need to be used at all.

An estate plan isn’t just one or two documents – it’s a range of tools and coordinated planning that makes sure everything and everyone you love is taken care of.

By using better tools like a Trust instead of a Will as your main tool for estate planning, you can direct what happens to your property while avoiding probate court entirely (aside from very limited filings) and ensuring the people you trust can step in and manage your assets immediately if you become incapacitated because of an illness or injury. In addition, any assets you put in the name of your Trust can remain entirely private, meaning the court and the public will never know what you own or who will inherit it after you’re gone.

When using a Trust-based estate plan, you’ll still have a Will, but your Will should only need to serve as a safety net to make sure that any assets that are accidentally left out of your Trust at your death are added back into your Trust.

Even more important than both a Will and a Trust, is an inventory of your assets so your family knows what you have, where it is, and how to find it when you become incapacitated or die. Without an inventory of your assets, your family will be lost when something happens to you. A comprehensive inventory updated throughout your lifetime is a critical, and often overlooked, piece of an estate plan that is not “just a Will”.

Protect Your Family and Make a Plan

If you’re ready to see how having an estate plan for your family is different than having “just a Will,” contact us today. We’ll review an inventory of everything you have and everyone you love, and together look at what would happen to your possessions and loved ones when something does happen.  Then, I’ll help you develop a plan to make sure your loved ones are taken care of when you can’t be there and that your plan works for you, and for them, exactly as you want it – at your budget and within your desires. Most importantly, I don’t just create documents – I guide you and your family through every step of the process, now and at the time of your passing.

To get clear on what you really do need for yourself and the people you love, schedule your complimentary 15-minute call today.

This article is a service of August Law, a Personal Family Lawyer® Firm. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session™, during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love.

The content is sourced from Personal Family Lawyer® for use by Personal Family Lawyer® firms, a source believed to be providing accurate information. This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you are seeking legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.

Categories
Estate Planning

Create a Stronger Blended Family Through Estate Planning

Blended families were once considered “non-traditional” families. Today, blended families have become just as common as non-blended families. Currently, 52% of married couples (or unmarried couples who live together) have a step-kin relationship of some kind, and 4 in 10 new marriages involve remarriage.

If you’re part of a blended family, you’ve probably recognized the extra layer of complexity that comes with planning for your family’s needs and accommodating the many relationships that exist between step-parents, step-kids, and step-siblings. Topics that might be straightforward for a “traditional” family – such as where to spend the holidays or who gets the old family car  – are more complex.

Feelings tend to be more sensitive, as the person in a “step” role may feel self-conscious about their place as the “outsider” of the family, whereas one parent’s children may feel put out by the addition of a new step-parent, step-sibling, or half-sibling when their mother or father remarries.

In a blended family, you work hard to navigate these complexities to keep the family unified and happy. But what you might not know is that our laws for what happens if you become incapacitated or die are still very much based on the traditional family model. Without planning for your blended family in advance, they will likely end up in court and conflict.

What Estate Law Says About Blended Families

Every state has different provisions for what happens when you become incapacitated or die, and the laws of the state where you become incapacitated or die may or may not match your wishes. What’s more, even though you may see your step-family members the same way as your blood relatives, the law does not.

For example, in Colorado, if you are survived by a spouse, your surviving spouse would only receive a part of your estate if you have living children (or parents!), and your living children or parents would receive the rest. The amount your spouse receives is variable based on the number and ages of your children.

In California, all community property assets would go to your surviving spouse, and separate property assets would be distributed partially to a surviving spouse and partially to children, if living, in amounts depend on the number of surviving children.

It can get very complex in Texas, depending on whether your assets are separate or community, and whether you have children from the marriage, no children from the marriage or living parents or siblings.

As you can see, what’s true for what happens when you die may not result in the outcome you want for your loved ones, especially in a blended family situation. That’s why it’s so important to create an estate plan for your blended family well in advance, and I encourage you to discuss your plan with the members of your family to avoid hurt feelings, confusion, or pain in the future.

Avoid Conflict in Your Blended Family Through Open Communication

Estate planning is often seen as a highly private affair, but it doesn’t have to be, and oftentimes, shouldn’t be. In the case of a blended family, having open conversations with your loved ones about your estate plan and your goals for the family can save them from hurt feelings and even court battles in the future.

Like all families, how you plan for your blended family will depend entirely on your family dynamics, your family members’ situations, and your own personal values for how an inheritance should (or shouldn’t) be received and what kind of legacy you want to leave behind.

Maybe you have step-kids and biological kids but want all of your children to inherit an equal share from you and your spouse. Perhaps there’s a large age gap between your step-kids and biological child, so you want to make sure that your youngest has the financial support they’ll need if something happens to you, whereas the older children are able to support themselves.

A person you have a step-relationship with has no right to inherit from you under the law, unless you put your plan in writing.

You don’t need to give away every detail of your Will or Trust, or tell everyone who you named to make decisions for you if you’re incapacitated. Instead, have an open conversation about the general goal of your estate plan, such as wanting everyone to have an equal share, or that you want to provide more for your biological children because your step-children will already receive a full inheritance from their other parent.

By taking the mystery out of your estate plan goals, your step-children will feel included in the discussion and feel like they are knowledgeable about your plan rather than feeling hoodwinked or hurt if they find out later that your plan doesn’t align with the expectations they created for it in their minds.

Most importantly, let the people in your life know you value and love them, and that no matter how they’re related to you, you care about them and want them to inherit not just material things from you, but also your values, stories, and legacy.

Create More Than a Plan, Create a Family Legacy

To make sure your wishes for your blended family are followed in the event of your death or incapacity, it’s essential to have a well-crafted estate plan created by an attorney experienced in serving blended families.

I know all too well the importance of planning for blended families and can help you navigate your options and desires for your family’s plan. I take the time to really get to know you and your family’s unique situation and educate you about what exactly will happen to your family under the law if something happened to you right now, so you can make confident decisions about what’s right for your family. I recognize that your material possessions are only a small part of a successful estate plan. What will really matter to your family members, no matter how they became your family, is your legacy.

Instead of leaving your family a mess to be battled over in court, leave your family an example of financial wellness, of a plan filled with personal values and family history.

To do this, I include what I like to call a Family Legacy Interview with all of my estate plans. During this interview, I give you the opportunity to leave your most important assets – your values, stories, and heart – to your family in a meaningful way that they’ll cherish for years after you’re gone.

And for a blended family, the Family Legacy Interview can be even more valuable because it gives you the opportunity to really speak to your loved ones about the plan you created for them and how much you value the place they hold in your heart.

If you want to protect your blended family from a court battle and emotional conflict, contact us today to schedule a complimentary consultation.

This article is a service of August Law, a Personal Family Lawyer® Firm. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session™, during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love.

The content is sourced from Personal Family Lawyer® for use by Personal Family Lawyer® firms, a source believed to be providing accurate information. This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you are seeking legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.

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